Friday, May 3, 2013

RUBBER DUCKIE (Google "giant rubber duck.")

is on its way
coming to America
any day

He's been to Hong Kong

and Australia too
Six stories high 
my oh my
and coming soon
to a harbor near you

Here comes that duckie
let's give him a hand 
sure hope he ain't full of 
North Koreans
ready to invade
when they reach dry land
(We will have to shoot them down
or they'll be goose-steppin' it
all over town)

A Trojan horse

is a horse 
of course
that's not the same as geese

and a duck 

is a duck
you silly fuk
let's hope he comes in peace

A big yellow duck 

to spread goodwill
throughout the universe

reminding us of when we were small

and putting time in reverse

Hey, lookit me

I'm taking my bath
with my yellow rubber duck

I won't lie to you

he used to be blue 
but I peed in the tub...
yuk yuk yuk! 

There's a big yellow duck

he's sailing the ocean
or so that's what I've heard

we'll all welcome him

to America
except for Big Bird
who's jealous...

oh, what a Big Turd! 

In the middle of typing this poem, I looked down at the chocolate stain that was on the front of my pants from the night before,  (I hadn't bothered to remove it yet) and incredibly I saw that the chocolate stain was in the shape of a duck!  AMAZING COINCIDENCE?  EERIE OMEN?  OR THE WORK OF THE DEVIL?  The photo of the stain is what you see at the top of the poem. Make of it what you will!!!!!!


  1. Chocolaty pants with chocolaty duck on it ... OMG, I will be right over to remove all ... :)

  2. lol @ the chocolate duck stain. Definitely I see the hand of the devil in this, Tim! :)

    I hope this duck comes in peace. :)

  3. oh i think the devil is in it...perhaps the dragon in revelation is really a duck in

  4. OMG! The duck chocolate stain is FREAKING ME OUT!!!!!!

  5. TALON: He certainly looks peaceful, a giant duck floating along in his giant bathtub.

    BRIAN: You may be onto something there.

    SHERRY: Imagine looking down at your crotch to see that in the middle of writing a rubber duckie poem!!!

  6. I would not have believed it if I had not first read of it here!

  7. Thought it was blood. Very dark and chocolaty.

  8. KERRY: We scoop all the other papers!

    MAGGIE JEAN: Feel free to have some.

  9. MAGGIE JEAN: May I call you "Ducky?"

  10. __In referring to a rubber duckie, it must have been the devil that put that stain in that particular area. Too, I imagine, one must be cautious with spelling errors?

    __And I... have just stepped out of self controlled realm! ;<)

  11. MAGYAR/DOUG: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT! (I see what you mean about potential spelling errors...good thing I proofread my work! )

  12. I say inspiration comes in many forms .. meant for exploration. (that is a duck_

  13. twisted humour through and through.I'd heard of devilled's to devilled duck!

  14. HELEN: Yes it is!

    ABIN: It may be even more twisted that I'd leave a chocolate stain on my pants for that long!

  15. Yep - that's one dead duck, for sure!

  16. VANDANA: I will now conduct ongoing experiments of spilling chocolate on my pants to see what kind of Rorshach images are produced.

    JINKSY: But he lives in the Hall Of Fame of crotch stains!

  17. guffaw!
    i'll tell you a secret: my kids are now too old for me to get away any longer with walking around with stains on my clothing and blaming it on them. like chocolate ice cream stains on a cream-colored silk blouse, i couldn't bear to give it up and i wore it all summer that way. "oh, babies! they spill!" as though it just happened ten minutes ago :)

  18. MARIAN: I can see you doing that and trying to get away with it, and your friend is saying, "But I just saw your daughter this week and she' her twenties now!" Busted!

  19. KISMET! That stain is funnier than the actual duck! It's even laughing at you, naughty mocking little soon-to-be feather duster if it doesn't watch out. Although a chocolate duck's feathers wouldn't be good for dusting...

    This was so much fun. And thanks for turning me on to the new art phenom... I never go on Facebook, so I've missed this one! Peace and rubber duckies forever, Amy

  20. AMY: Peace and rubber duckies! I think we could start some kind of a movement with that slogan!

  21. def. shouldn't wash that jeans any more, ya know...serious tunes wrapped in a fun write

  22. Oh yes...I agree,this is Satan at work!Looking for ducks in your crotch is hardly becoming when writing a poem. Time and know!

  23. I'm laughing. I would have loved to see your face when you first saw it. It really IS a duck!! Wow.

  24. CLAUDIA: I'm thinking of selling those pants on ebay!

    CRESSIDA: Yeah...not normally what you expect to find in your crotch!

    MARGARET: You bet your booty it is!

  25. Haha... this is such a fun write, but it does hold a lot of truth!

  26. First I just want to say I won't be rubbing the duckie! And next, hahahaahahahahahahahahaahhaahahah!!!!!! Funny insight...! I loved this. Of course if ever there was a "yellow" threat it would have to be Rubber-Duckie-Jong-Ill...... But not to worry Uncle Tim, and Big Bird really shouldn't either, because they won't let him on the ship to America. You see a person "Must be THIS tall to ride this ride" and he looks to be short about a foot....

  27. Love rubber duck as trojan horse! Nice!

  28. DANA: Welcome to my's just ducky to see you!

    JOHNALLENRICHTER: That's funny, dude. Yeah, only the ladies are allowed to rub the duckie, and if they do it right, the genie will appear!

    JENNY: Ya never know, eh Jenny? It's been done before, although admittedly quite a while ago!

  29. Quack, quack, quack... Had me chuckling all the way through! I do think it is way more than coincidence that the chocolate looks like a duck. It's uncanny!

  30. RAZZAMADAZZLE: I I just wish I knew what it is trying to tell me!